Every day an actor’s job is to be someone else: Memorize, rehearse and say words that aren’t their own and portray a character’s emotions. 

The audience sees the final product. What they don’t see is how much work goes into it and how much pressure an actor is under before the show is performed. 

Ivy Austin, an actress turned therapist, knows about the pressure and the emotional toll it can take. She has watched the toxic environment of Broadway message boards and social-media criticism.

“I don’t know where this ends,” she said. 

Auditions, and rejection, are baked in to the process

When actors audition for a role there is always the chance of getting rejected. Before an audition even happens actors rehearse monologues, songs, and choreography, knowing that no matter how much work they put in there’s still a chance of being rejected. 

Rejection is part of the process. You’re going to hear no more often than yes. You need to be able to handle rejection if you want to be part of the industry. And you don’t need to be a seasoned pro to know that.

Mia Soleigh Sanchez knows all about the audition process. After winning the Junior Stardusters competition at Ellen’s Stardust Diner in July, the teenager from Franklin, New Jersey, shared some advice for anyone planning to audition. 

“Keep going, no matter how many no’s you get, because they’re lessons, not rejections,” Sanchez said, already understanding that it’s something you have to learn from. 

It’s not always easy to get to that mental space, or to stay there.

“As a performer, one fuses their personal identity with their art,” Austin said. “So from that point forward, anything that happens is not just – ‘I’m an accountant and they didn’t like my financial workup.’ It’s ‘I’m an actress. I’m a singer. Oh, they don’t like me.’ So there’s always that challenge because one’s art seems to be merged with one’s self.”

Booking the part

If and when they get the role, the weight of performing doesn’t lighten. It’s a different pressure because now they have to perfect a character that will be seen by thousands of people.  

They already know they’re capable of playing the character, that was what the audition was for, now they just need to be that character. 

The actor is no longer just performing as someone else, they are spending hours, days, months, and sometimes even years building a bond with the character they play. It becomes a big part of their life. But what happens when the audience has an opinion on that character and publicly voices it? The bond can make the criticism feel more personal.

I had never used the word ‘grief’ for anything other than a loss of life but I think that actors, actresses aren’t really allowed to grieve the loss of a show, the end of a contract. We’re just supposed to pull ourselves up, put on our faces and go out there and get the next one.

Ivy Austin,
Artful Couples Therapy

Dealing with social media: ‘It’s just so cruel’

“What’s going on right now with public scrutiny on social media is just so horrifying. It’s just so cruel,” Austin said. “On stage, that’s all about listening and being authentic and responding honestly. But the offstage world is very, very different.” 

Often, commenters online will say whatever they want no matter how awful, simply because they’re hiding behind a screen.  

Julie Boardman, co-founder of the Museum of Broadway, is a former actress and Tony-winning Broadway producer. (She’s also behind the upcoming revival of “Damn Yankees.”)

She understands the hardship and expectations that come with being a performer and behind-the-scenes of making a successful show.

Boardman said people don’t understand how the business works and that there is more to the shows than they see. They are quick to dance on the grave of a show that’s closing, saying they knew it would happen and offering the reasons.

“People feel very free to say things that are hurtful and it’s things that people wouldn’t say to someone’s face,” Boardman said. “They don’t realize that someone who put in their blood sweat and tears for ten years would see that.” 

“Remember that the words people say are very powerful and the words could make someone feel very terrible,” Boardman said.

Calling it what it is: a loss worth grieving

Ivy Austin has come to look at the ending of a show or the end of a contract as something deeper than just the loss of work.

“This is also the end of your community. When we do a show, it’s a very intimate situation. I think everybody wants to be close or you become a family, all of that. Well, your contract is over or your show is closed and your family is taken away from you. This is traumatic as well. It took me years just in my own life to see this as something that I could grieve for.

“I had never used the word ‘grief’ for anything other than a loss of life but I think that actors, actresses aren’t really allowed to grieve the loss of a show, the end of a contract. We’re just supposed to pull ourselves up, put on our faces and go out there and get the next one. I think there’s a lot of damage, resentment, hurt, so much hurt that builds up in people and they’re just lifting themselves up and going out and smiling.”

8 shows a week requires a circle of support

Broadway actors will do eight shows a week with crazy schedules filled with rehearsals, performances, and other auditions.  

Eryn Lecroy, who played Christine Daae in “Phantom of the Opera” on Broadway and is one of the actresses playing Christine in the immersive “Masquerade” on West 57th Street, knows how physically demanding performing can be. 

“It’s a lot like being an athlete” Lecroy said. “Staying healthy and sustaining hundreds of performances starts with discipline in the basics — sleep, nutrition, and exercise.

Becca Petersen, an actress in the ensemble of “Schmigadoon!,” said being in the spotlight can be intense, but she has a circle of friends to keep her. 

“Having a support system that I really can trust and count on, whether that’s one person or my family or a big group of people. It’s nice to know that I have folks that are there for me, whether I’m able to talk with them every day or once a week or not,” she said. 

Make the most of connections

Being in theater can feel solitary, said Austin, who charted a second career as a therapist after years as an actress, with credits on Broadway and as a voice actor on “Sesame Street” and on Garrison Keillor’s “A Prairie Home Companion.”

She is a licensed marriage and family therapist (Artful Couples Therapy), a psychotherapist at the Metropolitan Center for Mental Health, and an adjunct professor at Yeshiva University. She is also on the mental health counseling staff of Manhattan School of Music and is a mental health consultant to theatrical productions.

“One problem that people have when they get really bummed out from this business, the isolation.” Austin said, stressing the importance of “staying connected with the world and staying connected with people who love you.” 

“All we can really do is help people learn to shut out some of the noise, some of judgment, understand who they have, what they can give to the world to connect with healthy people.”

Keep things positive

It’s also about who you surround yourself with. 

“One thing I urge people to do is to steer clear of others who are just really negative and angry,” Austin said. “Don’t be around negativity. That’s just insecurity.” 

If people need to make a change, Austin said she counsels them to make them manageable.

“I work with people to make very small, sustainable changes, because if it’s too much, you’re not going to do it. You’re not going walk in and change your life overnight. It’s about just tweaking little bits, and then I check in with people and I ask, ‘Is this working?’ If it’s not, there’s no manual here for life. And so we’re just kind of, try this, try that. Does it feel good? Oh, it feels good. Let’s do more of it.’”

But taking care of your mental health as a performer isn’t just learning how to handle rejection or taking criticism as something you need to fix. It’s knowing when to step back, listen to your body and mind, and remembering that your career isn’t you, she said. 

And when the show ends and you take off your mask for the night, knowing who’s behind it. 

Khloe JeanBart is a senior at Park Slope Collegiate in Brooklyn.